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Before Life After Death

by Bob Dey's Tank Engine Man

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1.
Steps on the way to the underground bell ringing, buzzing place where underneath it is happening: more steps he is taking by himself while mumbling
2.
What can the Hesitating Sun do for fun? It tries to leave but it cannot leave Stays at home all of the time Tries to sink into the sky What happens to his soul when he sits and waits? Surrounded by his papers and the things he's made? Does it satisfy to be alone? Is he required to give return? A man that does not want to die Is like a sun stuck in the sky Clings like child to horizon line Clutched to the succour of it's mother's side If I should decay into a shrouding mist, A moulding, crusting, lifeless past The light has gone anyway The night has come into the day A man that wants not to be alive Is like a Sun that would refuse to rise Lamplight, candlelight is forced to shine, Flicking and burning in the endless night Though he wants not life nor death Is wretched in a way that has not yet been said For what he wants cannot be done What can the Hesitating Sun do for fun? Sun... Hesitate
3.
Oh, my ghost it glows like a super-8 projection! In these piles of things of which I cannot recall the function! A face cut deep in wood, oh I do not know it's muse! A tiny, paper man in a clownish kind of suit! Right and just desserts, like a penance for the sinner! And I put it all in rows And I laid it out in grids And I've catalogued what's known And made a note of what is hid And eternally I've slaved For the meagre things I've done In pursuit of some acclaim Or of something else to come I"ve looked into the future and I can see that it is bleaker than it is right now In this tortured room where time is meant to suture Here I dreadful stare as I look into the future And I hold back my cries And I squeeze back my moan In the grip of this place That I now call my home Which has sheltered my mind As if buried alive
4.
Sad to feel the same... After all that I have seen and been through and the lessons I have learned Sad to feel the same... It's like I never saw a thing or did a thing and I never met the men that would come to change my mind Sad to feel the same... After all the time spent asking how to myself and twisting up the truth so that nothing remained clear
5.
Just like a mummy, he was king Now he's just a wrapping of remains Awoke from the slumber of his death Obligated by some unpaid debt Tied back in his regal wicker throne He slumps in a trouble-weary pose While better men around him go to work He reluctantly takes back his turn He was a man that would sit on a dream If at last he hears the bell ring A crystal call that beckons as it sings It will drag him again to the street Propped up like a dummy in a seat He was a man that would sit on a dream He could rise to meet the clanging blast Or watch parade marching past But like a Dreamer he must wait For the proper time and the proper place He was a man that would sit on a dream
6.
Digging Out 02:10
Oh! Expelled at last by not his own hand by another's! And stepping into a circus, where he will ask the Circus Manager for a favor. "Listen to my story and let me tell it again!"
7.
The Debate 06:10
(circus manager) If you are dead, how is it now you stand before me? If it's all true, then simply tell it as it goes (mark jumper) Can't you see the state I'm in, the fragile bones and dripping skin? The waiting Grave that's empty now is proof enough of what I tell (circus manager) A tomb with no corpse is like a relic-ridden room It appeals to the mind but it does not tell the truth (mark jumper) Oh my body is my tomb! My idle hands and crippled mind! Were you never once a man, with lofty dreams and endless time? I was ground into a dust by slogging on and staying blind But at last I have returned, but at last, I've seen the light! (circus manager) I admit it intrigues, though my instincts say it's wrong I will relent and I will listen to your song (mark jumper) Ooooh! (and his song...) When at last you have grown and the man you've become stands before you And despite how you felt as a young man, now you can't explain what has happened You can't refuse your Mother's love, no matter how hard you try The way that you are, it confines and constricts and destroys you All the things that you do, they were done first to you so of course you repeat them You can't refuse your Mother's love, no matter how hard you try
8.
Getting down to work now. All the ways and days back then in the beginning when only he was there and only he had himself to invent the things to do.
9.
Tried to Be 06:50
(wheeze!) (growl!) I've tried to be a better man I've tried to do what other men can I've tried to be a better man I've tried to be something that no man can I've tried to be a better man (I drew up a plan for the rest of my days I followed instructions, no matter how vague) I gave up the things that I called my own (I focused on things that would bring me success and I wondered vainly how long it would last) I took the critiques and I changed what was wrong (I read all the books on how to manage my time I walked through the hallways in the middle of the night) I juggled so much that I'd never be free (I’ve held the gaze of another man’s eyes but I couldn't hide my own shuddering fright) I beat on my brain so it wouldn't beat me (my hopeful endeavour became desperate need the light in my eyes became troubled with weeds) I stood in the shadows of another man's cast (I don't want nothing to happen to me I don't want nothing to happen to me) And I've tried to be a better man (and a little bit of darkness)
10.
The Basement 02:17
Awakening up in the Basement of the DC/DI building.
11.
I awoke in a bungled time And I looked around me shifting Below me in swirling fire The crowd was swaying, drifting And I noticed the blood on the walls In patterns it was threading And pooling into a pond In which the crowd was treading Ooh! I stood up to make a sound Took a step on the landing I looked out into the crowd And I saw the people I knew And they looked back up at me And they said, "Hello, sir. We did not expect to see, did not expect to see you here!" Just then from off to the left I heard commotion coming I was swept up into a line Of arriving ghosts and mummies So I left my place in line And I talked to the leader He said to me, "Son that's strange, you're not on my list today." And I asked, "What could that mean? What could that mean for me? And where am I supposed to go, if I'm not supposed to go here?"
12.
All the splits and sample bits, laid out and sped up, and making Mark Jumper remember every tale he's told.
13.
The End 04:43
(ha na) Let down, let go, let on as to what a wretch I've been There I was, I was wrong, I will now refuse to go insane Look 'round, look my boy, look around and see what you have done Oh my! Oh no! Oh, I cannot really feel it anymore (ha na) There is nothing left to do There is now power to be awoken If at all I was broke I am now no longer broken! I have sat for much too long In a brooding, troubled sinking It's a strange a foolish thing To be so ruled by what you're thinking! (ha na) (whistle!) (ha na) When at last it is done There is no need for recognition When the word is understood There is no need for repetition When success is on the tongue There is no need for asseveration (ha na) (etc)

about

Personnel:
Mark Jumper: guitars, vocals, percussion
Jem Stantz: field recordings
Pendrie Simons: drums, percussion
"Whitecat": keyboards, sample selection, programming

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released July 15, 2014

All songs by Bob Dey's Tank Engine Man, based on recollections by Mark Jumper

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